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Post by Kentflash_05 on Oct 6, 2023 20:25:30 GMT
So here’s the situation I love my wife and kid and am blessed, but a few years ago I started working with a girl in corrections whom is also married….. I like the girl, am attracted but I’ve always felt like it’s a romaantic attraction if that makes sense. She’s very attractive and she has a great personality I just feel like it would be a mistake to get to close, because she’s one of those girls that is a unicorn very cool and I’d develop a crush on her and want something more…. I don’t feel like that is fair to the woman I married…… but then the woman kinda embarrassed me because she lets the other co-workers know I don’t really talk to her…… it’s like I know me and I know the best idea in my mind is to keep her at arms distance for me….. am I prude? I kinda feel like though if you’re married you’re woman should be North Star so to speak, you can be friendly with every female , but there’s no need to exchange numbers or do anything out the ordinary to see her. Sorry for bringing this up on a College football board, and it’s embarrassing . But just looking for opinions.
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Post by Bevo on Oct 6, 2023 23:55:39 GMT
Your instincts are 100% correct. You need to do whatever you need to do to protect your relationship with your wife. For both of you, and your daughter. They count on you.
There will always be others who LOOK more interesting… when you don’t live with them all day, every day. But, can you really trust them? You might end up without them, and without your own family, and without HALF of everything you own.., plus another decade of financial obligations for a child you seldom see.
Unless there are reasons you just can’t live with your wife, stay true.. relish in her. Lean together for support.
If the girl asks you why you’re distant, tell her the truth: I don’t trust myself, and I prioritize my marriage. She SHOULD respect that.
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Post by Kentflash_05 on Oct 7, 2023 11:43:55 GMT
Your instincts are 100% correct. You need to do whatever you need to do to protect your relationship with your wife. For both of you, and your daughter. They count on you. There will always be others who LOOK more interesting… when you don’t live with them all day, every day. But, can you really trust them? You might end up without them, and without your own family, and without HALF of everything you own.., plus another decade of financial obligations for a child you seldom see. Unless there are reasons you just can’t live with your wife, stay true.. relish in her. Lean together for support. If the girl asks you why you’re distant, tell her the truth: I don’t trust myself, and I prioritize my marriage. She SHOULD respect that. That’s what I’m going to do. I love the wife and kiddo and I could never do anything to hurt them….. the vibe I get from the girl at work is that she might be a little interested too and if I were a single guy I’d be very interested….. I like her but don’t wanna get to close. It’s stupid but I kinda feel like a prude, because she has a lot of guy friends but being a guy I know lots of guys have their own agendas and those don’t exactly like up with mine…… |
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Post by EvilVodka on Oct 7, 2023 11:55:07 GMT
So here’s the situation I love my wife and kid and am blessed, but a few years ago I started working with a girl in corrections whom is also married….. I like the girl, am attracted but I’ve always felt like it’s a romaantic attraction if that makes sense. She’s very attractive and she has a great personality I just feel like it would be a mistake to get to close, because she’s one of those girls that is a unicorn very cool and I’d develop a crush on her and want something more…. I don’t feel like that is fair to the woman I married…… but then the woman kinda embarrassed me because she lets the other co-workers know I don’t really talk to her…… it’s like I know me and I know the best idea in my mind is to keep her at arms distance for me….. am I prude? I kinda feel like though if you’re married you’re woman should be North Star so to speak, you can be friendly with every female , but there’s no need to exchange numbers or do anything out the ordinary to see her. Sorry for bringing this up on a College football board, and it’s embarrassing . But just looking for opinions. If you want to keep your marriage intact, you need to keep it strictly professional with the girl at work |
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Post by Kentflash_05 on Oct 7, 2023 12:31:20 GMT
So here’s the situation I love my wife and kid and am blessed, but a few years ago I started working with a girl in corrections whom is also married….. I like the girl, am attracted but I’ve always felt like it’s a romaantic attraction if that makes sense. She’s very attractive and she has a great personality I just feel like it would be a mistake to get to close, because she’s one of those girls that is a unicorn very cool and I’d develop a crush on her and want something more…. I don’t feel like that is fair to the woman I married…… but then the woman kinda embarrassed me because she lets the other co-workers know I don’t really talk to her…… it’s like I know me and I know the best idea in my mind is to keep her at arms distance for me….. am I prude? I kinda feel like though if you’re married you’re woman should be North Star so to speak, you can be friendly with every female , but there’s no need to exchange numbers or do anything out the ordinary to see her. Sorry for bringing this up on a College football board, and it’s embarrassing . But just looking for opinions. If you want to keep your marriage intact, you need to keep it strictly professional with the girl at work Absolutely 100% agreed first time I’ve ever really been tempted though. I hate asking because it’s embarrassing to me that I even thought about it and honestly I feel a little ashamed of it. |
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Post by doc on Oct 8, 2023 14:52:05 GMT
Here’s the deal - there’s nothing that’s worth throwing everything all away. One of 2 things will happen - the actual act would in no way live up to the temptation of doing it OR it could be something so great that you could never get enough, which would be worse. Either way, a few seconds of pleasure is not worth the consequences.
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Post by Bevo on Oct 8, 2023 18:41:37 GMT
Here’s the deal - there’s nothing that’s worth throwing everything all away. One of 2 things will happen - the actual act would in no way live up to the temptation of doing it OR it could be something so great that you could never get enough, which would be worse. Either way, a few seconds of pleasure is not worth the consequences. 100% agree. |
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Post by Kentflash_05 on Oct 9, 2023 10:25:17 GMT
Here’s the deal - there’s nothing that’s worth throwing everything all away. One of 2 things will happen - the actual act would in no way live up to the temptation of doing it OR it could be something so great that you could never get enough, which would be worse. Either way, a few seconds of pleasure is not worth the consequences. Agreed. I’m not touching her, and if she ask why I’m distant in just gonna tell her my wife is the jealous type  . In all seriousness though Bevo is 100% right and I agree with you guys….. if the girl doesn’t respect that I’m married that makes me question her morals a bit. |
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Post by ajbuckeye on Oct 9, 2023 17:07:10 GMT
Here’s the deal - there’s nothing that’s worth throwing everything all away. One of 2 things will happen - the actual act would in no way live up to the temptation of doing it OR it could be something so great that you could never get enough, which would be worse. Either way, a few seconds of pleasure is not worth the consequences. Agreed. I’m not touching her, and if she ask why I’m distant in just gonna tell her my wife is the jealous type . In all seriousness though Bevo is 100% right and I agree with you guys….. if the girl doesn’t respect that I’m married that makes me question her morals a bit. One other piece of advice don't put words in you wifes mouth. If she does ask make sure she knows it is your decision to why you keep you distance. Blaming it on your wife being the jealous type could come back to bite you. |
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Post by Bevo on Oct 9, 2023 18:18:38 GMT
Agreed. I’m not touching her, and if she ask why I’m distant in just gonna tell her my wife is the jealous type . In all seriousness though Bevo is 100% right and I agree with you guys….. if the girl doesn’t respect that I’m married that makes me question her morals a bit. One other piece of advice don't put words in you wifes mouth. If she does ask make sure she knows it is your decision to why you keep you distance. Blaming it on your wife being the jealous type could come back to bite you. Yes... that's good advice. Which is why I said, "I don't trust MYSELF, and I prioritize my family". To me, that says... "In different circumstances, I would definitely be interested... but, my family is more important to me". If she has any decency about her, she should feel complemented, but also respectful of your decision. |
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Post by Hero on Oct 10, 2023 1:49:37 GMT
Good sound advice from top to bottom.
Be the hero for your family.
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Post by GatorGrad on Oct 12, 2023 18:00:13 GMT
Stay away...honor the commitment you made to your wife in front of your family, friends, and (hopefully) The Lord.
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Post by Kentflash_05 on Oct 13, 2023 22:42:28 GMT
I’m not going to becaue I love my wife and we I have the Lord my word, but I’d say it’s a pretty big temptation and kinda a crush. You guys are right I’m not gonna throw that on my wife, but if she ask I’m gonna tell her what Bevo said….. she has kids too and a husband and you’d have to be pretty selfish to potentially destroy my wife and wreck her family’s life too. I’m not gonna be that guy. I appreciate the advice though because I needed to talk about this with someone and I wanted to go to my friends but if one slips to his wife and they tell Cassie I feel like I have a mess on my hands.
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Post by Bevo on Oct 14, 2023 3:10:48 GMT
When I was 30, and my wife was pregnant with out 2nd son (we didn’t know if it was a boy or girl). I was assigned to travel to Memphis every other week for the entire summer. I stayed at the same Holiday Inn every time. The job paid me $50 a day for food. Every evening, I went to the HI bar where they had free appetizers, and I ordered a few drinks. Most nights, they had a video box trivia contest. I loved that. It kept me there a little longer. Over a few weeks, I got to know all the waitresses pretty well. One, in particular, was really cute… and a little flirty. We talked a lot. She was a single mom. Had a 2 year old little girl that stayed with her Mom while she worked. She was really hot! And I started to think we had a real relationship. But, it was always just “friendly”. One night, when I went there, they didn’t have trivia…. They had a “loungerie” show. A bunch of super hot young ladies modeling loungerie and trying to sell it to us. I didn’t buy any. But, I bought a raffle ticket. As luck would have it, I WON the prize. It was a very sexy little red outfit. I didn’t really want to take it home to my 6 month pregnant wife… she wouldn’t like it as a gift. And I didn’t really want to explain where/how I got it. So, I decided to just give it to this waitress. Well… she loved it. But, she got the wrong message from it. She came and sat down next to me and said “I get off in 20 minutes. Do you want me to come to your room and model this for you ?” I was dumbfounded. I liked her… a lot. We’d become true “friends”. Did I mention, she was HOT? And, I wasn’t getting much those days. I had about 60 seconds to decide. Every fiber of my body wanted to say “Hell yes!” . But, I started thinking.., “what if she really fell in love ? What if she called my house ? What if I got a disease from her? What if?  And then, I thought about my wife, and our life together, and my first son… and how much he meant to me. My choice became easy. I told her why I gave it to her. I explained that I liked her, a lot…. But I just couldn’t cheat on my wife and family. She hugged me. Kissed me. And said, “Thank you” for the gift. I’ve never regretted that decision. At some point, I think every young man has to make a decision about what kind of person they want to be. I’m not 100% anti-divorce. My best friend here locally divorced his wife when she was 2 months pregnant with his son. (Long story!) It HAD to be. It SHOULD have happened sooner. But, he’s made it work for all of them. His 1st wife was crazy. His 2nd wife is amazing. Sometimes, it’s for the best. But, it needs to be for a good reason … like, you just CANNOT live with her. Not because, another cute girl smiled at you. Divorce is super expensive and emotionally draining. And, it’s harmful to your child, even in the best of circumstances. Don’t risk it without a REALLY good reason. |
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Post by Kentflash_05 on Oct 16, 2023 0:48:26 GMT
When I was 30, and my wife was pregnant with out 2nd son (we didn’t know if it was a boy or girl). I was assigned to travel to Memphis every other week for the entire summer. I stayed at the same Holiday Inn every time. The job paid me $50 a day for food. Every evening, I went to the HI bar where they had free appetizers, and I ordered a few drinks. Most nights, they had a video box trivia contest. I loved that. It kept me there a little longer. Over a few weeks, I got to know all the waitresses pretty well. One, in particular, was really cute… and a little flirty. We talked a lot. She was a single mom. Had a 2 year old little girl that stayed with her Mom while she worked. She was really hot! And I started to think we had a real relationship. But, it was always just “friendly”. One night, when I went there, they didn’t have trivia…. They had a “loungerie” show. A bunch of super hot young ladies modeling loungerie and trying to sell it to us. I didn’t buy any. But, I bought a raffle ticket. As luck would have it, I WON the prize. It was a very sexy little red outfit. I didn’t really want to take it home to my 6 month pregnant wife… she wouldn’t like it as a gift. And I didn’t really want to explain where/how I got it. So, I decided to just give it to this waitress. Well… she loved it. But, she got the wrong message from it. She came and sat down next to me and said “I get off in 20 minutes. Do you want me to come to your room and model this for you ?” I was dumbfounded. I liked her… a lot. We’d become true “friends”. Did I mention, she was HOT? And, I wasn’t getting much those days. I had about 60 seconds to decide. Every fiber of my body wanted to say “Hell yes!” . But, I started thinking.., “what if she really fell in love ? What if she called my house ? What if I got a disease from her? What if? And then, I thought about my wife, and our life together, and my first son… and how much he meant to me. My choice became easy. I told her why I gave it to her. I explained that I liked her, a lot…. But I just couldn’t cheat on my wife and family. She hugged me. Kissed me. And said, “Thank you” for the gift. I’ve never regretted that decision. At some point, I think every young man has to make a decision about what kind of person they want to be. I’m not 100% anti-divorce. My best friend here locally divorced his wife when she was 2 months pregnant with his son. (Long story!) It HAD to be. It SHOULD have happened sooner. But, he’s made it work for all of them. His 1st wife was crazy. His 2nd wife is amazing. Sometimes, it’s for the best. But, it needs to be for a good reason … like, you just CANNOT live with her. Not because, another cute girl smiled at you. Divorce is super expensive and emotionally draining. And, it’s harmful to your child, even in the best of circumstances. Don’t risk it without a REALLY good reason. Extremely well put and I liked the example from your life. I can’t imagine the temptation there , as well because I went a good chunk of my wife’s recent pregnancy without as you put getting any….. Parker is a babe and a spitfire, great personality and in another universe where where were both single I wouldn’t think twice. I also realize that I’m blessed with the wife I have too, blessed with the wife I have and I can’t….. my wife is flat out a great woman, little bit of a Tomboy( but there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that….:: she played soccer in college and watches football games with me every weekend) she also one of the best people I know. She’s a pastors daughter and the way she takes care of others always before herself is what I think is her best attribute ( she’s a cutie too) I’d be miserable if I hurt her. I gotta stay away. |
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. In all seriousness though Bevo is 100% right and I agree with you guys….. if the girl doesn’t respect that I’m married that makes me question her morals a bit. 
